03-31-2018, 03:24 AM
(03-31-2018, 03:10 AM)Fluffy Wrote: Shannon would DMSI 3.2 in the long term help with Avoidant Attachment Style
More specifically, Fearful-Avoidant Attachment: People with Fearful-Avoidant Attachment patterns are ambivalent and afraid of commitment. They strike a balance in relationships in an attempt to avoid being too close or distant. They want to have their emotional needs met, but fear being too close.
Some examples I see in myself:
"Avoidants need love like everyone else, so they will miss their partners when they are not around. Once their partners return, they feel ‘trapped’ and hanker after space again."
This I see as a positive "Consequently, Avoidant partners cherish independence. They are firmly self-reliant and condescend to those who need others. Conversely, those who are secure realize the need for both freedom and partnership."
This dislike for attachment is for friends too, this is why I have no close friends because I feel that when people get close, I lose freedom, so I choose to keep guys on a top surface level.
Saying that though... I am able to get close to certain women (The ones I end up being in a relationship with) as close intimacy with a woman is more enjoyable and obviously has more perks. I enjoy the feminine energy of an attractive woman, especially if we have things in common and "connect". But that closeness only goes so far obviously.
I am a loner, but it is only because I feel like I lose my freedom if I let people get close to me, so I keep them at bay, I have been like this for a long time, so I am use to it and I do enjoy it to some extent because ...I have no attachments and I am free. Now I am just questioning it and wondering why I feel like it and wondering why I am like it. If I continue like this I will be fine, I would rather be like this than have toxic people and/or people I don't get on with ...suffocating me.
I can imagine it would be nice to have genuine close friends that I can connect with and have things in common with and enjoy times with and laugh together etc. That does feel alien to me now though. .
I'm pretty much exactly the same way